Life before children was easy. When I wanted to leave the house I simply upped and left. Not so any more. Leaving the house is a military operation. No mean feat and not so simple, always timed with military precision and worthy of a Michael McIntyre comedy sketch. We always look like we’re heading off for a fortnight’s holiday we’ve so much stuff in tow!
So it should have come as no surprise to me this week when I had ventured out for an evening with a friend of mine when she asked if by any chance I had a nail file in my bag.
Pre-children my bag would have contained my purse, car keys, phone, some lippy and very possibly a nail file. But this evening when asked by my friend I rooted around my bag, so much is now carried with me I couldn’t locate a file, so I emptied my bag onto the table and was met with “Mary Poppins has nothing on you!”
I had wait for it….my purse, my phone and car keys and a lippy, no change there. But I also had a packet of baby wipes, Milton wipes, Milton hand wash (no germs here please), a set of pens, we’re forever running late to children’s parties and grabbing a last minute card and gift on the way, it’s now easier to carry the pens to write such cards en-route!
I had no less than 5 hair bobbles one of which was on my wrist but I always think “ooh I may need a bobble” and put one in my bag clearly forgetting I’ve already done that a few times previously. “Baby brain” at it’s best!
A bib for Tiggy, goes without saying, always handy, although Tiggy wasn’t with me this evening and this one was dirty and needed to have been washed. Yuck! (clearly there were germs here, see previous point).
I had not one but two Sophie le giraffe’s (a girl can never have too many giraffes).
Some nail polish. I now never have time to paint my nails at home so what I do is to pack us all into the car, buckle up and paint my nails before I drive off. That way by the time I arrive wherever it is we’re going my nails are dry. Seriously this is what my life has become!
I had taken my bracelets off this particular evening as we had enjoyed an hour or two in the spa and so they were in my bag.
A pair of baby socks. That’s a novelty as Tiggy enjoys pulling her socks off and I have endless socks in my bag, but only usually one of each pair as Tiggy’s thrown them and I only ever seem to find one!
2 lego men, well one whole man, one pair of spare legs!
Half a crayon, the pointy end.
A mickey mouse bag bought a few years ago in Disneyland that Tiggy’s brothers had liked and my husband had said may come in handy and I said I’d never use, but I seem to use it all the time as forget to take carrier bags everywhere. Thank you 5p plastic bag charge for proving my husband right!
I found broken bits of plastic and a Euro. Bearing in mind we’ve not needed Euros since last December when we went to Lapland and it’s now May and I’ve no idea where the plastic came from.
A pot of jam. Yes jam! I had been at M&S and ordered Tiggy toast one morning and they said it came with jam but I hadn’t wanted jam, but the man serving insisted I take the jam as it came with the toast and too tired to argue with him (following a sleepless night with Tiggy) I’d put the jam in my bag and promptly forgotten all about it!
After all that I did find a nail file. In fact I had two. A regular emery board and a small crystal one so told my friend to take her pick. After all that I deserved the gorgeous slice of cheesecake and large coffee which I enjoyed while my friend filed her nails.
Purse, keys, pens, lippy, phone, receipt, spare bib (thankfully clean), a small pot of sudocrem (thankfully not jam!), another piece of broken plastic (where is this stuff coming from?!), a bottle of perfume, 2 lego men, an angry bird (yes I took Tiggy’s brothers to Macdonald’s after school the other evening), a toy elephant, sure beats the large toy screwdriver I had yesterday thanks to Tiggy’s brother William who then left the screwdriver in nursery and had the biggest meltdown ever in the car on the way home when he realised he’d left it there! And for some unknown reason I have a spoon in my bag! I’ve no idea why or where it came from. Oh how times change but I wouldn’t change it for the world even if I do now give Mary Poppins a run for her money!
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